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Winter

by Hannah Jane Kile

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1.
Growing up I heard many ghost stories None of them could ever prepare me You can fight vampires with garlic You can kill them off with stakes But there’s no silver bullet for your own mistakes Red cloaks for wolves salt over your shoulder Succubi for men who never keep their word You can melt witches with water You can burn them at the stake But there’s no silver bullet for your own mistakes You can fight vampires with garlic You can kill them off with stakes But there’s no silver bullet for your own mistakes
2.
Loyalty 03:38
I've always been a black sheep Never quite keeping my feet on the ground I only take my tea scalding I'd sacrifice everything for what I want I know it makes me bad But it feels so good I'm done with Loyalty Look at what it's brought me I'm done with Loyalty Look at how it's broken me The only safe place is in my own arms No longer a Desdemona No longer a Eurydice You wouldn't catch me dead fading to sea foam For a man who wouldn't do the same for me I know it makes me bad But it feels so good I'm done with Loyalty Look at what it's brought me I'm done with Loyalty Look at how it's broken me The only safe place is in my own arms I'm changing I don't mind Shake it off like old skin Flying solo feels damn fine I'm done with Loyalty Look at what it's brought me I'm done with Loyalty Look at how it's broken me I'm done with Loyalty Look at what it's brought me I'm done with Loyalty Look at how it's broken me
3.
You're gonna hate me for saying this You're gonna tell them I'm heartless They'll blindly nod the way they do But deep down they'll know it's true When I say You don't know how to love If your life depended on it You don't know how to be loved It's a touchy subject You don't know how to love Without inflicting damage You don't know how to be loved How is it that you manage The only way for me to break the cycle is get out I know you wish I'd shut my mouth You're at your worst when things aren't about you If it makes you feel strong to cut me down Stand tall and proud but it's no use Because behind all that You don't know how to love If your life depended on it You don't know how to be loved It's a touchy subject You don't know how to love Without inflicting damage You don't know how to be loved How is it that you manage The only way for me to break the cycle is get out Of this space I have known And build up a place of my own I wish you health and happiness And that you don't end up alone But I don't have high hopes Because You don't know how to love You don't know how to be loved You don't know how to love If your life depended on it You don't know how to be loved It's a touchy subject You don't know how to love
4.
Wither 03:41
My eyelids ache From staying awake With you until dawn I shut my eyes face your mistakes Forgiveness is not so easy anymore I don't know why the carpet's wet Why you always act like this Black curtains drawn over broken windows How the " " can you not remember That truly awful thing you said Go ahead Hide behind your trauma But I won't watch you wither away No I won't watch you wither away You feel shame So you face the day With a bottle And it's armor and it's glass And you shatter just like that Cut anyone who sees that you're fragile And I don't know why the carpet's wet Why you always act like this Black curtains drawn over broken windows How the " " can you not remember That truly awful thing you said Go ahead Hide behind your trauma But I won't watch you wither away No I won't watch you wither away And I don't know why the carpet's wet Why you always act like this Black curtains drawn over broken windows How the fuck can you not remember Happiness and self respect Don't know what turned you into this Can't bear the weight of it any longer I don't know why the carpet's wet Why you always act like this Black curtains drawn over broken windows How the fuck can you not remember That truly awful thing you said Go ahead Hide behind your trauma I don't know why the carpet's wet Why you always act like this Black curtains drawn over broken windows How the fuck can you not remember Happiness and self respect Don't know what turned you into this My eyelids ache from staying awake With you until dawn
5.
Monster 04:05
Walk down the road where you once held my hand You promised me you’d never leave With each step that I take I fear is a mistake I wish your ghost would let me be But now I’m a monster But I’m stronger on my own yeah You broke me but I’m thriving Hope it eats you alive and It hurts me But I can’t stand To look at you Relive the day when I first stood my ground But that didn’t fit your charade No longer will you be my master puppeteer Who quits when it don’t go your way I guess I’m a monster But I’m stronger on my own yeah You broke me but I’m thriving Hope it eats you alive and It hurts me And I can’t stand it Your lies gave me fangs My tears made my eyes red My claws grew when I knew that you bent the truth You threw me to the wolves when there was nothing left to use But here I am And here I stand All that I wanted was to be your friend But now I’m a monster But I’m stronger on my own yeah You broke me but I’m thriving Hope it eats you alive and I’ll never let anyone feed on my power Again
6.
Red roses aren't for girls like me Given to those waifs on my TV screen They flash the world a smile And it makes me want to cry And after a while I think why even try I'm mean, mean, mean And I'm green, green, green With envy With envy Is this a good color on me Is this a good color on me What's it like being asked to dance No, it's not for me I never had the chance When your best friend's a flower And your sister's a queen You're always chosen after If you're even seen So I'm mean, mean, mean And I'm green, green, green With envy With envy Is this a good color on me Is this good What does it do to a girl When she has to ask if she's pretty What does it do to a girl When you say no you've got personality What does it do to a girl When you shame her And you break her And you train her That her worth Is her body and smile Not her actions or her mind We can do better For our wildflower Girls
7.
I woke in my head So alone so loud Noises ringing in my ears My feet were bare Cold and damp all around Darkness everywhere I turned I howled into the blackness Until my voice gave out And turned to wind I howled into the blackness I kneeled down into the sadness It’s the only way out My eyes were closed Spring had come again While I was bundled in the snow

credits

released December 21, 2021

Music, Lyrics, Guitar, Vocals & Vocal arrangements - Hannah Jane Kile
Vocal arrangement: “Envy” - Hannah Jane Kile & Natalie Hagwood
String Quartet arrangements - Joshua Hegg
Drums, Percussion, Engineering & Mixing - Corey Morgan Strange
Upright & Electric Bass, Mixing, Mastering - Ethan Swett
Backup Vocals - Jennifer Coker & Hannah Jane Kile
Violin 1 & 2 - Garrett Hagwood
Cello 1 & 2 - Natalie Hagwood
Viola: “Envy” - Jared Kauk
Electric Guitar - Eric Kuvakos
Photography - Elle Jaye
Executive Producer - Phil Johnson

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Hannah Jane Kile Sacramento, California

Recognized for more than her considerable vocal skills, Kile's proficiency as an acoustic and electric guitarist has been lauded by peers and critics who have often called her “a player who sings, rather than a singer who plays.” Follow that with classical voice training and an enduring infatuation with the music of Steven Sondheim, and you have the genre-defying voice that is Hannah Jane Kile. ... more

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